loz : laurie

I am many things; mostly appropriate, I believe. some of you know parts of me... some of you know much of me. very few of you know all of me.

you may find the many parts of me somewhere around here, if you want to take the time to look. good luck, hahaha.

oh... but let me know if you find my pieces, please... I always seem to be searching for myself ;).

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<< June 2004 >>
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I am N. Ninja. I transcend such trivialities as gender.

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Sunday, June 20, 2004
the days past

I'm becoming altogether too annoyed by this random-freeze issue my computer has. I suppose that means I finally have to do something about it. it's my network card having a conflict with my motherboard, you see - they both want to use the same area of RAM at the same time occasionally, and when they fight it all just stops. and of course *I* am the one to pay the price - lost entries, lost time, lots of annoyance, etc.

I finally got the money I've been waiting for, so I can pay back what I borrowed to take my trip to Holland/London. if there's enough left over, I'm going to get my new & improved, larger hard drive and also some more RAM for the pute. well what the heck eh? I will start with a clean slate, a large hard drive completely empty but for the devil (ie, windoze), and perhaps this time I will actually keep my crap more organized. and I vow - I will do backups from the beginning this time! I may even organize my favourites before I add them to the new hard drive. currently I must have about 4,000 bookmarks... these all go back to 1999 when I first started collecting them. *note to self: add the most recently-collected blog links on here*

my biggest problem is that I can't seem to get rid of *anything*, so besides all those favourites & all the programs I've still got on this thing that I haven't even *looked* at in about 4 years, I've got about 3 gigabytes of saved email. I know, disgusting ain't it? but you know... you never know when you might need to remember who said what about which, five years ago or so. and *next* time, I swear that I will keep my email inbox properly organized. currently there are something like 3,800 emails in it, so now I have to go through & move the important ones into appropriate folders. oops. and that doesn't even take into account my 'sent' box, which is almost as full as the inbox. I dunno... it's some kinda obsession. well it's true... I atually *am* an obsessive-compulsive type (and apparently a bit schizotypal as well). I have the online personality disorder test results to prove this.


just to illustrate that I *do* save everything: as I was looking for these test results that I'd saved to my computer, I found an online-numerology report result (for myself) that I'd saved too. I'm thinking about putting that in here as well - it's just so accurate! you will collect more important parts of me, should you read it - but maybe I'll save that for a different entry. because for now I want to mention my kids.

the last week has been a bit hectic, because Bren's been in hospital again. he came down with a sore throat around June 8th, and all through his 11th birthday (on June 10th) celebrations and beyond, his throat was sore & he eventually came down with a proper cold (or improper, depending on your perspective of what a cold does to the body).

it's the same story as before: a virus snuck in & drove blood sugars high - illness & stress & various other common occurances tend to do this to diabetics. this in turn caused a shortage of insulin which in turn caused the body to burn more energy (stored fat, basically) & the liver to release more glucose in an attempt to get energy to the body's cells since the amount of insulin present wasn't doing the trick (think of insulin as the 'key' that opens the cell's 'locked door'). and going round again, this drives the blood sugar higher, which in turn causes the body to burn more energy, liver to release more glucose... and etc. etc, round and round again, until something is done to stop the cycle.

the end result is that with all that energy being burned & glucose swimming around in the blood stream not being able to get into the cells, ketones are produced. a loose analogy would be to think of the body as a fireplace, the glucose/energy as fire, and the ketones as the black soot that's left on the fireplace walls after you've burned wood in there. not good or pleasant, and rather yukky as a matter of fact. also, hard to clean up after. an excess of ketones floating around for too long in the blood stream can cause the condition known as ketoacidosis, which is what Bren actually had last time. this time we caught it soon enough that he was just on the verge, but didn't actually develop ketoacidosis. it all still made him sicker than he was with just the bug though, so the poor kid vomitted for a few hours on Tuesday, June 15th - at which time we discovered the ketones in his urine. ketones, by the way, have to be detected with a regeant strip dipped into a urine sample; they're not black & visible like soot in a fireplace is for example, haha. anyway, we got Bren into the hospital here at that point & shortly after examining him they sent him to the other hospital in the town nearby via ambulance (again), where he was admitted & kept for treatment for a couple of days (again) and even (again) stayed in the same room he had during his last hospital stay.

so why did this happen (again)? well I imagine it was partly because Bren's body was still a bit run-down after that last bout with ketoacidosis, so it was easier for a virus to get in & everything to get out of control. however, a big part of this was because we didn't see it coming... which means we just weren't watching closely enough, I'm afraid :(. we seem to have finally learned our lesson, though! get off your arse & pay attention! Bren came home on Friday, feeling fairly good other than the lingering cold symptoms.

we're all back in diabetic boot camp now, learning things we didn't know before as well as just generally getting on track properly with Bren's diabetic management. you just can't let your guard down with this stuff, though I'm afraid that's exactly what we did. the temptation as a parent (or maybe it's just as a me), is to heave a sigh of relief that the illness is past and go on doing what you were doing as if everything's taken care of. unfortunately, with an ongoing condition, you just can't do that; you have to go on with a greater awareness and constant vigilance - no resting on any laurels here! though truthfully it's been a while since anyone has rested on me, and I'm not sure if it's actually possible for me to rest on myself. oh... did I never mention that my actual first name is Laurel? hehe. 

anyway, that's what we're doing now and as I said, we're even learning things we never knew before that will help us manage Bren's diabetes more efficiently. that's a great and valuable thing, but I just wish I already knew all this stuff & that all of it took less effort, came more naturally. erm... I think that's a personal life lesson for me, actually: the need to combat laziness & just do/learn what I need to as it becomes necessary - personal growth as applicable, rather than just 'when I get around to it'. Bren is so much like me in so many ways that it seems to me this is a life challenge for him also.

that also explains why I'm up in the middle of the night babbling here - I have to be up to do a finger prick on Bren to check his blood sugar level. I'll just pause here & do that now, though you won't notice a break, I'm sure. (a bit low, so I had to wake him to give a bit of juice followed by crackers & PB)
now, since I've been meaning to do this forever & because it seems appropriate at this juncture, here are pictures of the darling kidlets!!

Duncan, age 14                           Brennan, age 11

my Dunc on the left - he's 14. the Bren kidlet is on the right - he's 11. ain't they grand? :) both pictures taken on May 30/04.

I'll hopefully get more 'natural' pictures later today, when the boys are in their element: on the skateboard park. they have a competition they'll be skating in today, at our local skateboard park. that'll be fun... neither one of them have skated in a comp for over a year now! after that of course will be something done with the dad, since it's Father's Day. hmm... if the weather is as nice as Saturday's (HOT!), maybe we should take him to the beach & stay for a picnic-supper even. sounds like a plan to me, and he'd probably enjoy that. we shall see.

before I get back to sleep, I'll just mention that I'm still waiting on that third interview for the job; haven't heard back yet. I will be completely pissed off if *this* employer decides to forget about me & never answers calls/calls me back again. that kind of thing has happened so many times in this town - interview & then just get dropped, no explanation - that I'm beginning to get a bit paranoid.

also, the cat - Taz - is in heat again & being disgustingly sweet & noisy. she's constantly 'talking' - this high-pitched, gentle sort of 'brrrrrrr' sound - and following me around. worse yet, she assumes the position all over the place, like I can help her out or something! I'm embarrassed at what a hussy she's being. any visiting cat would be forgiven for thinking she's a real slut, though I haven't heard anything from visiting cats so who knows? still, she'd do any old Tom, Dick, or Harry, given the chance. or maybe that's any hairy tom's dick, haha. well hopefully she won't manage to sneak out before I can get her spayed - we don't want kittens! I'll get a picture of her up soon too.

okay, I'm going back to sleep now, thank you. and a pleasant 'good day' to you all.

babbled by loz - 06:27 am

June 23, 2004   12:22 AM PDT
Greg: I didn't realize Jamie has diabetes & thyroid probs! it's type 2 diabetes, I assume? Bren was initially diagnosed with type 1 (juvenile) diabetes when he was 3-1/2, so we're going into our 8th year of dealing with it... seems strange that we're still learning so much about it. let's hope they find a cure that will be available to *our* kids, some day in the not-too-distant future.

brandy: thank you! I really am proud of my boys :). not only are they so sweet looking, they're just wonderful people. well, except when they're being little poops, but that's kind of the minority of time & that's their job as children, so I can't complain ;). Bren's feeling much better, thanks - just a bit of a cough & some sniffles now. unfortunately, Dunc's caught the cold now! mostly he's okay though, he says.

Peter: haha, I'm not a bit surprised that there are no 'highs' in your disorder chart mate. you're pretty calm all the way around ;).

logtar: I'll have to visit you & see if you've got your results up on your blog ;).

Julie: thanks! I think so too, obviously :). more pics coming soon.

m: heehee, and have you found your aura yet? ;). I wonder what section they figure it's compulsory to take from you? hehe. thanks for the good wishes, mate :). xx

Amapola: plus we're both bulls eh? or at least, you're *close* to being a bull too ;). I get on well with Geminis in general though - my best friend - who posts here as 'See' - and my son are both Geminis & we get on really well too. aside from all that, you're just really easy to get on with mate :).

thanks for all the thoughts, peeps!
June 22, 2004   04:19 PM PDT
I can see why you and I connect, I am a Schizotypal too apparently ; )

Hope Bren is ok now


Amapola xxx
June 21, 2004   03:29 PM PDT
ah, see wot y'made me do?

Disorder Rating Information
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

- now me computer's telling me i'm barking an' orl!?..ended up getting a "compulsory section error message"...
hope all's well m'dear, wishing good things toward you & yourn
June 21, 2004   01:00 PM PDT
You're boys are sooo precious!
June 21, 2004   11:50 AM PDT
Ah, dem boys :)

And here's my test results:

Disorder | Rating

Paranoid: Moderate

Schizoid: Low

Schizotypal: Low

Antisocial: Low

Borderline: Low

Histrionic: Low

Narcissistic: Moderate

Avoidant: Moderate

Dependent: Moderate

Obsessive-Compulsive: Low
June 21, 2004   08:49 AM PDT
what handsome boys! I am sure you are so proud of both of them. I hope your lil' guy is feeling 100% soon!
June 21, 2004   12:17 AM PDT
Yeah, I worry about Jamie's diabetes (she also has a thyroid problem) because she "forgets" to take her medicine. She's been taking it twice a day for like 7 years, you'd think she'd get used to it. The other day, Wanda asked her, "When was the last time you took your medicine?" and she said she didn't know. *Sigh*

Anyway, glad your Bren is feeling better. Nice pics. If he were older, Jamie would prolly like Bren. :-)

Take care, Laurie. And I might surprise you yet with an email someday.... (Sorry). *hugs*
June 20, 2004   05:15 PM PDT
love ya too, lady. sorry to hear you have to work today :(. it really IS a hot one, and I can well imagine that if the weather continues this way we'll be living at the beach again this summer.

I'm rather glad we're not doing the airshow this year - just TOO much foofaw attached to that thing, between getting there 'on time', getting parking, the heat, and the being there for hours.

anyway, we'll be taking the dad out for supper & then going to see my dad after that, so that's not long from now.

talk to you soon. you really *need* to come over & watch my trip vid with me! I'll get a bottle of something in for the occasion.


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