loz : laurie

I am many things; mostly appropriate, I believe. some of you know parts of me... some of you know much of me. very few of you know all of me.

you may find the many parts of me somewhere around here, if you want to take the time to look. good luck, hahaha.

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I am N. Ninja. I transcend such trivialities as gender.

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Friday, September 17, 2004
queen of procrastination - not a thief!

I've mentioned before this little (hah) issue I have with procrastination. well more often than not I just make life more difficult for myself because of it - and it happened again. but I'm only guilty of procrastination - not theft!

see, I had these 5 library books that were, um, a little overdue. like... about 4 months overdue, haha. oops. anyway, this collection agency for the library called me up wondering when I'd be getting the books back & so on. at first I couldn't find them all (well, erm, I'm rather guilty of disorganization, too), but eventually I did, and then it was me trying to get to the library on time & so on. it would *really* help if they'd just get the library branch OUT of the mall & into its own building. sheesh, like we can all remember all the time that we have overdue library books to return, and then get to the mall while it's actually open?

the long & short of it is that the other day I said to myself 'you WILL get those books to the library Thursday before 4 pm'. and so I was all worked up to do so, & things were ticking right along. then, before I got out of the house, the collection guy called again & asked when I was going because they hadn't received confirmation yet that I'd taken the books back. I told him I was going to be going that day, before 4 pm. he was pleased, then said to me, 'well that's good, because you know, based on the past history, my clients aren't opposed to sending the RCMP around.'

uh? past history? RCMP?!

first of all, let me say that I've dealt with this guy before in regards to overdue library books & fines. he's probably THE nicest collection guy in the world. he's one of those people who can get his point across and get action, while still being extremely pleasant and leaving you your dignity. plus he's got a great voice, so I don't mind hearing it. very nice, is Darren, so his use of subtle threats is pretty off the wall. shocking, even. I didn't know how to respond, not just because I was taken aback by his new 'collection method', but because I was trying to figure out what he meant by 'past history'.

yes, I must admit to having had seriously overdue library books before, which resulted in big fines. thing is, I have always returned the books and paid my fines. so what past history is he talking about that would necessitate RCMP involvement?! damn, I can't get this visual out of my head... a Mounty and his horse in full regalia, balanced on my doorstep, demanding I surrender the goods, pay for them, or be hogtied & dragged off to jail. oh... my... gawwwwwd, I've just realized I'm a hardened criminal, harbouring overdue library books!! *sob*

just as an aside here, do you realize that library books are THE most expensive books in the world? these latest 5 I was late with were worth over $200. good lord, and they weren't even hard cover books! some of them were barely bigger than your typical paperback.

anyway, okay, I had their property which was worth more than $200, so I can see the reason for their concern. but to send the RCMP, just because I'm a repeat overdue offender? awww, come on. really. I'm sure the amount of overdue fines I alone have paid is responsible for the purchase of a number of great books for that library! nah, I doubt they had said any such thing, about the RCMP. I think they were probably pushing poor Darren for results though, so in desperation he had to try to light a fire under me arse. not a good plan.

I don't respond well to threats. I'm very stubborn & I'll be damned if I'm going to so much as appear stupid enough to fall for manipulation by ridiculous threats. as soon as Darren said that to me, my dander went up & I thought, 'oh great, now I can't return those books today - he'll think his threat worked!' seriously. very contrary/perverse, am I. see, I'd told him I'd be returning the books that day, but then he threw the threat in to ensure I would. so NOW he'll never know I *actually* intended to return the books that day, and he's got to think his threat was responsible for me actually doing it, right? arrrrg, I hate that!!

but yes, I did return the books yesterday after all. I got around my stubborn by remembering that I was doing it for me, because I'd promised myself I would. I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but it's just this knee-jerk reaction I have to threats. threats imply I'm too stupid to realize the situation is important, and I'm not that stupid... I'm just the Queen of Procrastination. threaten me and you will be punished by further non-action. why can't these people get this?? sheesh.

anyway, I did return the books because I'd said I would, and the lady at the library was very nice. she scanned the books in so they'd be officially recognized as returned (my file showed 'lost' next to the books), and she told me - in a very apologetic tone - that they wouldn't be able to reactivate the card until the fines read 'zero'. fair enough, considering my carelessness, and I expected that. I'm the Queen of Procrastination - I do realize that I have to pay the price if I'm to retain my title, after all.

now I just have to decide if I'm going to give Darren shit for using such a stooopid threat with me, next time I talk to him. yes, *sigh*, no doubt I'll be talking to him again, about the fines associated with these now-returned-overdue-books. I can't pay the fine at the moment, so I'm sure he'll be phoning to ask when. as I mentioned, though, he does have a great voice. I may have to stay overdue on something or other all the time, just so he'll keep phoning me ;). well I'll figure out some suitable punishment for his stupid threat, no doubt. I wonder if he likes to be punished? hmm...

erm, I guess that ends this mostly appropriate tale. hehe.

ps: all joking aside, don't try this at home kids - amateur procrastination is dangerous! it really does make life more difficult, even with me being the Queen & being fully aware that there's a price to pay for it. this problem is one of the things I'm hoping I can get right (ie, fix), finally :).

babbled by loz - 12:20 pm

September 18, 2004   01:51 AM PDT
HAHAHA! I thought I saw your mugshot on the "Ten Most Wanted" list. Could you freakin' imagine if some officer came to your door with cuffs?! That's like a 3rd graders worst nightmare...overdue library books with police involvement. You crack me up, girl!
September 17, 2004   07:48 PM PDT
Balancing the hooves...and trying to have a crap on your stairs. Lovely.
September 17, 2004   06:19 PM PDT
Lyly - it's even funnier when you know that my front step is raised up, with a railing around it... and has about 3' x 4' in space. there's hardly enough room there for two people, much less a horse & a Mounty, haha. picture Dudley Dorite on his horse, which is sucking in its gut & daintily keeping those hooves balanced in one little area so as to fit on my doorstep... oooo, scary! hahaha.

Nic... did I look fat on tv? heehee.

September 17, 2004   04:28 PM PDT
Thought I saw you on Canada's Most Wanted. The other segments were those that ripped off matress tags, and those (men) who didn't put the lid down in public bathrooms
September 17, 2004   03:10 PM PDT
They send the Mounties after overdue library books? I guess I should expect Dog the Bounty Hunter after overdue DVD rentals.

Re: hogtied and hauled off -- hilarious imagery loz, I'm sorry it made me laugh.

Over library books. Jeez.

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